Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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