I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
