Who wears a wallet chain?!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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