You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
