So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
