That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
