haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
