I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
