the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
