i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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