They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
