HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sex in the backyard? Check.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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