did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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