She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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