I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
