she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
