some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
