We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Girls should come with a carfax report
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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