I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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