Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
