I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
