There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize