Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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