Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
