I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
