so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
