Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
