I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my shit smells like andre
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
