Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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