i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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