So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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