Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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