White coat. Heels.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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