ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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