my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just want to make out with him forever
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
