between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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