youre lurking in front of me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
