Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize