I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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