Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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