On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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