She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't deserve a penis
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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