Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
