why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
