theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
