what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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