So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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