Need sex. Gaining weight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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