my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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