Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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