First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
