Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
