hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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