she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
