Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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