I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
