I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
