she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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