Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
