But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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