i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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