member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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