in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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