I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We have started to decorate penises.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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